Thursday, April 22, 2010

lessons learned

Today we've been married 557 days.

I've learned alot about marriage over the last year and a half. Like most couples we've had our ups and downs while we try to find our way. We were young when we married, so we're growing together and every day I learn something new.

I wanted to share a few things that marriage has taught me.

Always give the benefit of the doubt. Never assume he didn't water the grass and feel the need to remind him over and over. He's a smart guy, and I've learned that most of the time he has everything under control.

Don't nag. (I'm still working on this).

Compromise. On everything. It took us a while to figure this out, but it really makes things so much easier. We both make sacrifices and we try to meet in the middle. Ideally, we would compromise on everything; but we're human and hardheaded. Still working on this.

Take a deep breath and let it go. It's very easy for me to hold a grudge. I will go to sleep mad and pretend I'm still mad the next day (even though I've already forgotten why). I'm learning to choose my battles wisely. Most of the time we get irritated over silly things and it's just not worth it. We both have to take a step back and breathe. And then move on.

Be supportive. No matter what. I think "marriage" is synonomous with "team" (really). I've learned it's so important that we are always on the same team. Most of the time I don't have to try very hard at this because it seems so natural to me. I want my husband to succeed and he wants the same for me. I support his decisions because I know he always has our best interest in mind and vice versa.

I hate doing the dishes. But I learned very quickly to get past this. We both have full time jobs, so we share all the household chores. I always try to find a way out of doing the dishes because it just grosses me out and by the time I get off work and get home from the gym I am exhausted. So it works best for me to do the dishes on the weekend while Danny prefers to get it done during the week. I wash and dry the clothes and he folds them. We're trying to find a happy medium (since he won't let me get a maid).

Vacations are crucial. Even if it's just a weekend trip. Getting out of town and relaxing for a few days really helps me to unwind. It seems that even on the weekends if I'm in Jackson, I have work or the house or something on my mind. We've tried to take several trips throughout the year and I think if we didn't we would go stir crazy.

Being spontaneous is a good thing. Some of my favorite memories are the moments we didn't plan.

Enjoy being a family of two. I want children so bad one day, and so does Danny...but we make a conscious effort to enjoy the next five or so years we will have by ourselves. We're able to do things (leave for New Orleans at midnight, eat dinner at 10pm, sleep late on the weekends) that I know we won't neccesarily be able to do once we have kids and I'm not taking that for granted. I know once we have kids that nothing else will matter, but right now I like being a little selfish.

Cooking meals at home is important. Healthier, cheaper, and with a glass of wine, it's fun.

I literally learn something from husband every day. We make each other laugh. We argue. We make up.

And I'm thankful because my heart is full.

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